Bear Down

The last week has been pure luck and drama. One of the better moments happened on Tuesday.

For the longest time, I've wanted to do something special with B. I was considering concert tickets to see The Decemberists when I got an email from my friend Katie about how her boyfriend was going to attempt buying NFC Bears v. Packers tickets at 2pm. I really didn't think much of it, except... "good luck on that one." My sister had just bought tickets the day before through ebay and paid through the roof with the rest of the crazies. No way was anyone going to get them through ticketmaster (at face value!).

Out of curiosity, I signed on at around 2pm to see the price of the tickets. When the ticket options popped up, I went to the next step and tried to see where the tickets were located. To my complete and utter surprise, two tickets appeared in a decent section and for a very reasonable price. Without hesitation, I purchased them and then went to my twitter page to brag.

On Sunday, I had gotten up extra early for a morning run. Since I have been diligent about planning my runs every week and sticking to my schedule, I knew that Sunday morning would be met with a bone chilling outdoor 2 miler. I was all ready to lace up my shoes and head out the door when I looked out my window and saw the massive amount of snow that had fallen (and was still falling). The fact that it was snowing outside got me excited for an extra scenic run, but I was not ready for the icky conditions.

With yaktraks on, I turned the corner for my regular path only to find that it was wayyyy too slippery. I turned around and headed down the main street. Luckily, I live next to a major university that sits on the lake, so I figured I would run their lake path, snow be damned. As the minutes ticked down, my legs were really struggling to push through the snow, and my pace was about 12:30 and slowing. As soon as my shins started aching, I turned around, ran about 300 more yards and walked the rest of the way home. It was a 1.5 mile run in 22 minutes. Obviously not my best since I consistently run a 11:15 pace for about 2 miles or more, but I continue to remind myself that at least I got up and did it. 3 months ago, I would never have dreamed of running in 10 degree weather, in extremely snowy and icy conditions, but I did! VICTORY!

After I came back from the run and showered, boyfriend B and I got ready to go to the Bears game.

Here are some pictures:

I actually wore about 4 layers of pants and shirts, three layers being what I wore for my early morning run. The sun went down around 4pm, and thank goodness we were so layered up because my toes were not happy with me come the second half!


The walk to the stadium from the Red line is about a mile + and the path wraps around the museum campuses. But you can see all of Chicago from the walk, including the stadium. It was actually a great additional workout, as when we were heading back to the CTA stop, we had to jump over some poorly placed fences. See, I can even do hurdles now!


View from our seats! We could see pretty much all the plays as they happened. We were sitting by some low key and equally intense fans. Since my comprehension of the game is in the medium range, I'd say that being around crazies made the game even more enjoyable. But I totally miss the atmosphere of a crazy soccer game with the unified chanting and singing! This stadium needs a megaphone-d leader and some tifo displays asap!


B and I certainly are not a picture happy couple, and we always fail at taking our own. This one, in my opinion is adorable. Plus, he still has his beard, and I LOVE THE BEARD!


They're doing burpees down there... which is exactly what I did when I got home for the CAMO (my Biggest Loser team) football challenge. The deal was that we had to do 10 strength training exercises per touchdown scored by the opposite team. 3 Green Bay touch downs = 30 pushups, crunches, squats, and burpees. It certainly got the circulation back to my legs.


... and one last cute one of us! This is before the screaming and chanting started, so we look pretty calm. It was a great, exciting game, even if the Bears lost.

A Story For Princess Madison

Once upon a time, there was a princess. For entertainment purposes only, we will call this princess Aunt Michelle. But she was a princess, and quite beautiful, to boot. She should also add that her sister was a mermaid:


Princess Michelle and Mermaid Angela had an older brother, not quite a prince... as you can tell by past family pictures:


As Princess Michelle, Mermaid Angela, and Backwoods Brother Matt grew up, they always wished there would be another addition to their family.

Years passed and Backwoods Brother stopped crossing his eyes long enough to learn how to play music. He was good, though Queen Patty would also say that his playing stage presence left something to be desired.


Those sick musical skills came in handy when he met and wooed a Fair Maiden from a different royal family. Some would say it was love at first sight. Though, Princess Michelle worries for the sanity of the Fair Maiden. I mean, look at Backwoods Brother!


But, love is blind (or cross eyed) and soon enough, Princess Michelle, Mermaid Angela, Backwoods Brother, Fair Maiden, and the rest of the gain (Queen Mum Nanni, Queen Patty, King Al, and Duchesses Phil and Jo-Jo) were excited to welcome the newest member of their clan!

One cold day in January, King Al took Princess Michelle out for her first driving lesson on Nanni's old steer. He was quite terrified because Princess Michelle had just received her driver's permit and had never been behind the wheel before. It was also not a bright or sunny day and there was still snow on the ground from Christmas. But off they went...


Soon, King Al received a call on the royal cellular phone.

(It was only 2002... cell phones were obviously not as small or functional back then)

It was Backwoods Brother calling to say that the new Princess was arriving at that very moment! King Al panicked and forcibly pulled Princess Michelle's horse over and took over the reigns. Off they went to the hospital!


After King Al's crazy drive over (which included almost being pulled over by the kingdom's sheriff), Princess Michelle was super happy to see that all of the royal subjects had gathered in the comfortable waiting room. "Any minute now..." she thought, "Any minute and we will finally get to meet the newest little princess!"

Well, minutes passed... and then hours... Princess Michelle became restless and resorted to reading hospital pamphlets and watching old episodes of Maury.

But just when she thought she couldn't wait any longer, the newest Princess arrived. Princess Michelle could have sworn that moment she knew that Princess Madison had arrived, trumpets sounded and parades went by (but it turned out it was just Mermaid Angela practicing). Either way, everyone in the Kingdom were so happy to welcome such a beautiful baby- maybe one of the fairest she will ever see. (she got that fairness from her mom)

As Princess Madison grew up, Princess Michelle could only love her more. She knew that one day, she would grow up and do great things. Maybe be a pilot of a huge plane:

Or a famous dancer:

But Princess Michelle knew that she could do anything because, on the day she was born, Princess Michelle knew that she was special. Princess Madison was everyone's wish come true. And, even when she was too young to speak, she could make anyone smile, even the often grumpy Mermaid Angela.

Today, just happens to be Princess Madison's birthday. And even though Princess Michelle is ruling over another kingdom far away, she thinks of Princess Madison every day and counts down the days till she gets to see her again. But, in the meantime, she knows that Princess Madison will always be kind to others and take care of those in need- including Prince Alex. She will be a good student and an even better friend. And in the next 9 years, she will learn to drive, go to high school, look at colleges, figure out long division, and maybe even meet a worthy boy to take to dances.

So here's to Princess Madison's "Happily Ever After!"

Resolutions?

Oh dear. It's that time of the year again. The gyms are overflowing- "Bitch, get off MY treadmill." My financial website is backed up- "If I have to press f5 to get to my retirement fund page, I will take all that money and go some place exotic (but not that expensive)." And the streets are less smokier/full of drunks.

Every year, we design "resolutions" for ourselves. But do we every actually keep them? I know I haven't. In actuality, only 12% of people resolve anything they planned to.

Dean Anderson, a behavioral psychology expert, writes that there are 6 characteristics of an effective goal:

1. Challenging- Making a resolution to surf the internet more would be an example of taking the easy road.

2. Attainable- I'm pretty sure resolving to grow C cup boobs would be out of the question.

3. Specific- I would like to do ________ so I can then do ________.

4. Time-limited- In the next 80 years is time specific.

5. Positive- So I shouldn't vow to seek revenge against my landlord and his inability to fix things correctly? I guess I'll put away my burning bag of dog crap.

6. Flexible- All my goals involve being able to touch my elbow to my nose.

Got it? Ok. Let's make some "resolutions" for 2011!

Resolution #1: Continue my running program by running 3-4 days a week, including an outside run once a week.

- Run my 5k in March under my current 5K time by 4 minutes

- Join and complete the 10k running program through Fleet Sports

- Remain injury free by stretching properly before and after and icing my legs

when needed

Resolution #2: Progress through Guitar 3 Rep at Old Town

- Complete Guitar 2, Guitar 2 Rep, Guitar 3, and Guitar 3 Rep this year

- Make a library of guitar songs with the music given

- Get comfortable with new strum patterns

Resolution #3: Paint or draw once a month

- Study new techniques online

- Learn the difference between paint and the styles used

- Work on figure drawing

Resolution #4: Visit the library once a month

-PAY LIBRARY FINES!

- Return books on time

- Take recommendations from friends

- Read during lunch breaks or on the bus

Resolution #5: Learn how to swim

- Take the adult swim class at the Y

- Practice lap swims once a week

- Be able to swim 10 laps by October 2011

Resolution #6: Make more friends

-Be sociable at the gym and through dance class

- Attend the karaoke nights

- Arrange get togethers with current friends

- Approach strangers with genuine compliments and work on small talking

Christmas

I'm sorry for the delay in blogging. I actually wrote a pre-Christmas blog about a week ago, but the draft was lost and I'm too lazy to come up with that material again.

Call it post-Christmas-trauma disorder.

In reality, my Christmas went well. I'm too poor to purchase a Christmas tree and space wouldn't allow it if I had the $90 to fork over for plastic cinders. I improvised by re-purposing a vase of plastic daisies. Brendan provided the homemade ornaments. And just to make it even more authentic, I took one of my many couple-less socks and used it as a stocking. Here's the evidence:


All those presents are unfortunately not for me. I ended up stuffing everyone's stocking:
Dad-newest XRT cd
Melanie (step mom)- Elvis wine holder
Mom- tickets to see Million Dollar Quartet
Grandma- new outdoor thermometer
Aunt P- a personalized dessert carrier
Aunt J- a pajama set and a hand knitted scarf
Niece- gift card for target, bonnie bell lip smackers, and an Angel necklace
Nephew- two onesies and some diapers (what more does a 5 month old need?)

In return, I ended up getting:
-4 sweaters and a corduroy coat (mom)
- hoop necklace (mom)
- A new metal bed frame (aunts)
- Mattress cover, pad, and pillow topper (aunts)
- Easel and paint set (aunts)
- Two pairs of boots that didn't fit (aunts)... they are getting returned and replaced by new running pants and a new Nike hookup for my running shoes
- Large pots and pans set (dad and Melanie)
- New silverware (dad and Melanie)

What about darling boyfriend? Well, we decided to save money and make gifts for each other. I made him a tie-dye tshirt and painted a picture frame to match. He gave me an entire cd worth of songs from our relationship, but instead of it being the original artist, it's actually him singing and playing all the parts! He also played Santa and stuffed my stocking (ha!) with candy and a new candle.

Of course, Christmas wasn't without drama. This one, while sort of not unexpected, knocked everyone out. Instead of being a fight between who's gift was better or which Christmas we would attend, this year's Christmas woe was full of fear, tears, and unbelievable anger and regret. I really, really wish I could blog about it here. I have so much to say, so much anger and sadness to express that it seems unfair that I cant just come out and say what happened. My nightmares over that night have not ceased, and every day, the confusion and guilt have just increased to a boiling point.

This is not what Christmas is supposed to be. And frankly, I will never forget this Christmas night, that phone call, or the events leading up to it. I cant imagine the next couple of years not having that scar on it.

Anyways, I was blessed to have the happy moments I did. I am blessed by an amazingly resilient and giving family. And to the friend who texted me throughout the night and day, thank you. The same goes to the boyfriend who tried his best to comfort me and to make my Christmas as normal as possible.

I've been without a solid support group since I've moved to the city. My friendships have been dwindling to a precious few I can count on to have a complete conversation with. And in times like this, you understand how much you have and how much you miss. But that's part of being an adult. There's no tree back at home waiting for you to be decorated. There are no line of friends waiting to hold you or willing to drop their lives to see you. And there is certainly not a real Santa around to eat your cookies and leave you the mass amount of things you need for the apartment.

This is growing up. I'm glad to be at this part of my life because: "Try as we might, happy as we were, we can never go back."

And now, because this became a complete bummer of a post... ADORABLE CHILDREN! (credit goes to my brother's girlfriend and my sister since I was without a camera):

Niece opening up her build-a-bear. I swear she has a bajillion of these things.

Nephew and brother opening gifts. I just love this picture.

Santa "baby"!

26.2

Everyone these days is blogging about bucket lists and life goals. On Sparkpeople, a blogger friend even made her top 10 list and went through them one by one over a three month period. Another blogger finally saved up enough to buy her plane ticket to Alaska. And a third, got a Star Wars tattoo.

I've posted life goal lists on past blogs before. From what I've gathered, I've managed to accomplish:

1. Graduate with a degree in music
2. Be in a relationship longer than one year
3. Travel to Europe
4. Win a speech team event
5. Live in my own apartment in the city
6. Buy a car
7. Learn guitar (sort of in the process)
8. Perform professionally
9. Get an A in clarinet juries
10. Teach music at a school
11. Get health insurance... seriously
12. Run a 5K
13. Take a dance class
14. Sell some art work
15. Pay off my credit cards (they were paid off for three months!)

All in all, I'm doing great. There are still some major ones to be done- like get married, have a family, backpack South America (or just visit Buenos Aires), and see a World Cup game.

I was once told that the best thing to ever come out of Buenos Aires was the musical Evita. I then threw up a bit.

But my biggest goal on the unfinished, but working on it, list is to run a full marathon by the time I'm 30 (preferably at 25-26).

All of my life, I've hated running. I was always the slowest mile runner during the dreaded Presidential Fitness Tests, and I took a lot of flack for it. Seriously, gym class for an overweight pre-teen can scar a girl for life- so much so that I do have a bit of anxiety whenever I run in public for fear of being too slow.


But even at 10-11-12, I wanted to be a distance runner. I wanted to be the girl on cross country (Sue Heck, anyone?) with the long skinny legs in the shifty running shorts. In the winter, I wanted to go on polar bear runs in lycra while gliding across the ice I usually fell on. Even with all this "want," I was always to insecure to make myself go out and actually run.

"I love cross country! That's running, right?" - Sue Heck

When I started college, I realized that I would have to commit myself to fitness because my body was certainly not going to tolerate the limited food choices of the EC cafeteria and the self-hibernation I had put myself through. I joined a gym and started to walk more and more, eventually adding hills and fast walking intervals. Soon after, I discovered C25K, which led me to run my very first 5K right after I graduated. My time was nothing to write about, but it was a dream come true either way.

I stopped running when I moved to my last suburban stop. I gave every excuse in the book why I wouldn't bring myself to keep plugging outdoors. And that hiatus lasted until September of this year when I began to run again. My goal to run an outlandish 26.2 miles didn't really pop up until read a blog about a girl who ran her first marathon. For some reason, it hit me that this is what I want to do.


I want to fully understand that my body can do amazing things and perservere through winter weather, aches and pains, hills and potholes. I want to see how far I can physically and mentally push myself to overcome any past anxiety I may have in regards to running. And I want to know that I accomplished something that only a few people have and can.

So every day, I am preparing myself for that future marathon. Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays are spent at the gym running intervals or testing out my newest distance. Or I'm cross training with spin bikes and ski machines. I'm following strength training programs specifically for endurance running. On my days off, I do yoga and pilates to tone and stretch muscles I haven't seen since I was 14 or I'm working on my core strength. Every day, I'm working on preparing myself for 26.2 miles of war on my body.

Somewhere, a Russian is laughing at you while injecting himself with steroids.

I see that so many people posts lists of things they want to do or accomplish, but I've learned that if you are not actively working on your dreams, then what is the point? Nothing in your life is holding you back from making it a reality. If you want to go to Japan to see the blossoms, save up your money and buy a Japanese language book. If you want to sky dive, buy the damn groupon. And if you want to run a marathon, train like you can run a marathon.

Generic Thanksgiving Post

Tis the season to give thanks for the wonderful people in my life and the amazingly supportive family I have. Since that post would be seriously lame and an eyesore for all those who stumble on this... I am going to go the snarky route:

10. A job where I can facebook, tweet, sparkpeople, blog:
Nothing says hard at work than someone hardly working! The most taxing thing I do at work is register students for classes, which happens four times a year and lasts about a month. The other 8 months... well, it's a hodgepodge.


9. Another year of getting to act my age!:
Dear friends who are married or have children,
My life is so much better than yours 90% of the time. No shared income or closet space. No compromising on which brand of bread to buy or figuring out how much mac and cheese will feed the kids. I get to spend my non-bill money on dinners out to childrenless bars to hear bad 80s cover bands on a Tuesday night, and I never, ever have to worry about a babysitter for my children (or husband). WIN! I'm going to appreciate this until I hit prime baby making time. Then I will panic.



8. Netflix instant stream: I should just replace my cable with netflix for how often and much I milk off of the instant stream feature. It's bad when your recommended movies include the category "Animated movies featuring talking animals." Added bonus for the year: getting the Wii hookup.

If this isn't in your instant que, you are sadly missing out.

7. Elliptical obsessed women: While you spend your hour on the elliptical, I am going to take advantage of the other, more awesome cardio machines. You may look hotter bouncing up and down with little sweat, but at least I am getting more for my money.

6. Free shuttle bus to work: Every morning, I get to fight an Asian woman for the first-person-on-the-bus bragging rights. It has recently become a strategic competition. I am currently employing a big red bag to the chest to keep her from cutting in line. And when I feel vengeful, I'll sit in the seat right next to her, even when there are plenty open. Not paying for public transportation never felt so evil!


5. The "hide posts" feature on Facebook: Wackjob conservative? Post daily Christian messages? Constantly asking for me to help you on your farm? Just plain annoying?... you've been hidden. No more do I have to weed through your facebook status updates about how awesome Hannah Montana is or how sick your children are! No more emo lyrics or crappy band invites!

(It's not that I dont love you... It's just that I often dont care. If I really didn't want to hear from you, I'd de-friend you, and believe me, I've already de-friended about 200 "friends" in the past year.)

4. Online shopping: I'm done with Christmas shopping (3 days before Black Friday, to boot!). Last year, after a shopping mishap, I was forced to shop on Christmas Eve after a long shift as a seasonal employee of Target. It was at that moment where I was verbally fighting for a snowman mug full of 80 cent hot chocolate mix that I swore I would never, ever shop for non-essentials in store again.

3. Major news outlets: Where else would I get to read the article "Was Jesus a Communist?" but CNN? Or watch Glenn Beck encourage everyone to discuss inflation at their Thanksgiving dinner parties? Oh the joys of idiots with microphones and popular websites.


2. That I get to vote in Chicago: Who wouldn't want to be a voter in this clusterf*ck of a mayoral election? Rahm, Chico, Braun? It's the alphabet soup in the melting pot of rejected and "reformed" politicians. With the budget and skeletons some of these "players" have, the commercials are going to be hysterical.


1. Rotini noodles: I really dont need to explain this because, as well all know, rotini noodles can do anything (including make a pretty awesome portrait of JFK). It's just the miracle of all pasta, and for that, I am forever grateful.

Grain of Salt

Since I've rejoined Sparkpeople (for the 100th time since 2006), I've had to analyze my relationship with non-living things: food and exercise. To lose weight in a healthy manner, as I have done in the past, I constantly have to analyze and process the two things that are essential in me getting healthy.

I've talked about exercise already. I actually really love to be active, contrary to popular belief. I get restless easily so it's a tool to get myself off of the rut of couch planting-B rated netflix movie watching.


It also provides me with a social network. My spin teacher, a crazy mad deamon in bike shorts, does what she calls "talk tests" where she brings up a random (often X-rated) topic and has us each talk for 10 seconds to a minute about it. It's often during peak sets or tempo sprints, but there is no better laugh than talking blow jobs while forcing yourself not to pass out on a stationary bike. Since I've moved to Chicago, my friend zone has been at, well, about a zero- besides my boyfriend's friend and family and occasional phone calls and emails. At least when I am spinning in a room full of girls, doing dirty "talk tests," I can get out that need to giggle, joke, gossip, and emasculate men that I would normally have if I was living in the burbs and able to see my MIA girlfriends.

And, more often than not, exercise does quite the opposite- it elevates the social process of life. Do you want to just totally lose every grip on any stress in your life? Well, I know it's corny and so late 90s, but try yoga. I recommend this looking up yogamazing, a free Itunes podcast featuring a very calming teacher. Want to literally sing away away anger while burning calories? Watch this and try not to laugh:



There's always that scientific thing about endorphins...


As for food... well, that's less clear cut. If we are going to be honest here and do some self reflection, I will just straight out say that I am a terrible eater. As a child, my diet was fat, carbs, and more fat. I avoided veggies like the plague (and quite honestly still do... just never could physically eat green beans or broccoli). It contributed to an overweight, unhappy child that would grow to an overweight, unhappy adult.

Just like about 99.9% of you, I turn to food for comfort in times of stress and a quick pick-me-up when I need a burst of energy. Food is social. It's where the majority of first dates take place, served at weddings, left out at funerals. Food follows us through life and defines who we are, whether I like to admit that or not.



I struggle, currently, with a heavy salt/sodium addiction. It is added or showcased in most of my food, and, in return, it retains all of the 8 cups of water I struggle to drink per day. It is the reason why my feet and fingers are constantly cold or why I am exhausted at odd hours of the day.

But even knowing this, I am still a salt fiend. I still crave it. I still keep a dispenser filled with seasoned salt on my eating table (for real). This is my life. It's what I hold on to, and that's depressing. Even with all the anger and resentment that comes from having past food addictions and seeing what negative hold it had on me for so long, I still let something as minuscule as a grain of salt hold on to me.

Normally, I'd write my solution or some goal. But I'm being realistic when I say that this salt craving will never, ever go away. I'm always going to want to whip up some popcorn or dash some seasalt on my potato skins. It's just going to have to be something I work around and with- just like any human relationship. I'll have to compromise and dedicate myself, just as anyone who wants to make a major change in their life would do.

Salt, you win. You can stay.