Better Son or Daughter

Oh Lord, I was on a high this week. And by high, I mean finally feeling normal. Yippee!

And then, two days later, I'm back down.

Yippee.

I would really love to be out of this- to feel normal, happy, proud. Oh, and I'd love to look at myself and see someone who is smiling rather than looking like the Ghost of Christmas past.

If you can believe it, I spent so much of yesterday just staring at nothing with no thoughts in my head. I spoke more words to the man on the L asking me about the book I'm reading (Last of the Mohicans) than actually communicating with anyone else.

Today, well, it's no different. I feel, uh, better. But I seriously think it's because I've spent much of the day planning for my niece's visit and trying to find Alex's 1st birthday gift online. Seriously, how can you not smile when looking at adorable babies in cute outfits?

Anyways, B sent me this song yesterday while I was in the thick of things, and it's been stuck in my head ever since. It eerily sums up exactly what is going through my head.:

Oh, and I ran 4 miles yesterday. I should throw that in someplace, so why not here? 4 miles is a pretty easy undertaking, but I ran it after work yesterday. I usually do all of my runs in the morning, before 8am, so there was a huge difference. I obviously felt more self conscious with the added amount of people on the trail. I guess there was more pressure to get through my intervals without looking like I'm about to fall apart or die of heat exhaustion.

Only 3 days away from my tune up 10K- or as my runner friends are calling it, RunHades 10K. I had really wanted to pull a PR (personal record), but with the race not starting till 7:30 and the temps as it is, I'm going to stick with just finishing as my goal. 

This is a great test to see how I will do in the heat with my half marathon. Only 4 weeks out! I'm feeling more and more confident as well as freaked out. My motivation is at a high with my training, but to make sure that I keep on running after I cross the finish line, I've decided to pay myself. For every mile I run, I'm giving myself a dollar and doubling it if it's a race. For July, I've already deposited about $21.50. Cha-ching!

Anyways, have a happy and healthy weekend. I'll be back, I'm sure, with a race recap on Sunday night or Monday.

Optimism v. The World

A few days ago I had a revelation. I'm happy. It's taken a lot since I've graduated college to move from part A of my life to part B. And the road hasn't been a smooth crossing either. But now, I'm doing just fine. Financially I am stable and emotionally, I am above average. There's even a new addition to my immediate family that I got to meet this weekend.

However, I had a set back yesterday. While it isn't definite and it could mean nothing in the long run, it put me on edge. Extreme edge. If it comes to fruition, my current lifestyle would almost dissolve if I did not find a quick fix.

In my most heated moments of worry and doubt, I kept flashing back to major rejections in my life. From depressing moments where I messed up a line in a play to another where I was turned away from a party by a group of grade A college douches.

The problem is that I always do this. It's like my brain takes note of the moment and then places that note in the file entitled: Disappointments. Because I'm curious and bored, I have to go through each one of the memory notes starting with a 1st grade teacher telling me that my hair was too messy... all the way through to my last time a guy ignored my phone call. It's exhausting in its own right.

I'm sure I am not the only one who does this or has a problem dwelling on the past. It's just that I cant stand how alone it makes you feel and how empty your heart becomes. It only emphasizes your pain and complicates your worries. In the case of last night, it turned an issue that should have been a second thought in to a full frontal issue.

I dont have a solution or advice for similar sufferers. I just wanted to put this out there and see who else becomes Egger like in self-pitty and loathing.

But to those who just want baby porn, here you go:

New Addition + Crap I Find On Etsy

Nope, this ain't your mid-80s, male R&B sensations. This "addition" is much cuter and brings less chance of getting "Poison" stuck in your head. This freshly dropped, soon-to-be hit comes care of Brother and Brother's girlfriend. The duo had previously brought the world the one-hit wonder of my adorable little niece, but now they are back with the vengeance of cuteness on their side...

Premiering on this blog for the first and certainly not last time.... The New Kid On the Block...

Alexander Alfonso (Insert Last Name Here)
8lbs 11 oz, 20 1/2 inches
Born July 28th, 2010 at 2:45am
Commence fawning.

Only the proudest and happiest of aunts would refer to her newly born nephew in early 90s radio jargon.

But I digress. I'm obviously delighted at the news of a new addition to our family. Alex should anticipate loads of kisses, spaghetti, trips around Kankakee, White Sox games, and hard rock music concerts with my paternal side. My maternal side only brings normality. It evens itself out. And there is no doubt that this little meatball will be spoiled rotten as all of us children were and continue to be. He's already got a White Sox teddy bear heading his way when I visit him this weekend.

Anticipate pictures from my visit.

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Because I am in such a pro-child mood, I will bring a special baby edition of Crap I Find On Etsy!

As always, I bring you the bad first:
According to picture documentation, I had the typical rainbow mobile. Cute, practical, and whimsical for the late 80s. Now, imagine if Tim Burton and that seedy seamstress at the tailor shop got ahold of your rainbow mobile. Injecting a nightmare inducing sense of sadness mixed with some really shotty seaming, you get...


If this isn't a reason for continued bed wetting, I seriously dont know what is. I might have peed in fear just coming across this monstrosity of a crib mobile. The fact that the seller claims that it would be adorable in any baby room just sends shivers down my spine. Even the people from the Saw franchise wouldn't dare put this in their child's room.

Ok. I cant look at it anymore. I'm afraid that its raindrops will cut me.

As for the good, well, there were tons of good. I saw the most adorable little onesies listed, including a Neil Diamond one, several Mr. T's, and even one quoting one of my favorite authors. But mainly, I'm in love with this one:

Dana: So what do you think?
Peter Venkman: Well, he's ugly. I mean, he's not Elephant Man ugly, but he's not attractive. Was his father ugly?
Dana: [to Oscar] Don't listen.
Peter Venkman: And he stinks! You're ripe, Senor! Did his father stink? Yeah, I bet Daddy was smelly, wasn't he?

Why yes, that is Bill Murray's orange face on my hispter toddler's tshirt. Enough said.

In Rainbows

I've had an absolutely fantastic weekend. After having nothing to do at my job besides fret over what insurance plan I was going to pick and how to adjust my World Cup table, I was so glad for the weekend to come. I spent pretty much all of it with B, exploring my new neighborhood. The RP has great potential and this apartment is shaping out nicely now that I finally found time and motivation to unpack all of my crap. (ok, I might still have a box or two in my backseat!)

On Friday, we found a bar. Nothing exciting and no drinks quite as enticing as my beloved gummy bear at the Elgin Public House. We did get to watch the most uncomfortable wedding anniversary party ever...

Saturday was all about the heartbreak. My poor USMNT couldn't pull off another miracle and make it through to the quarters. I am proud they got through their rounds, but their play has been somewhat uninspired since they won CONCACAF. Unfortunately, unlike the Cubs, I cant say "next year." I get the four year rub. We made up for my heartache with long islands... lots and lots of LONG ISLANDS. Mixed with piano bars and a cute double date, it was all downhill from there. Ask KStrong and B... and everyone else I managed to dial or text.

I luckily woke up today with no hang over in time to go to the Pride Parade. Last year, my dad and Melanie came down and I attempted to find them in a massive sea of sweaty rainbow faces. This year, I spent the 2+ hour parade in B's brother's apartment with his family.

All I've got to say, and this may be the most meaningful thing I've got at this hour, is that love is love. It shows no preference to age, race, gender, creed, experience, clothing taste, money, etc. And I cant be any more proud that my generation is the one that continually accepts that. Every generation has its "cause." This one cant be anymore ours. And what could be more nobler than fighting for love?

And that's it for me. I promised three blogs a week. Let's just pretend I finished this 20 minutes ago.

Crap I Find On Etsy

I started my new job last week at a major university. Because the Spring semester is just wrapping up and the summer semester hasn't yet started, there isn't much training to be done. On Thursday, I spent my 7.5 hour work day on one of my favorite websites, etsy.com, looking for artwork for the somewhat barren office.

After hour 4, I was more of just browsing everything and judging how much free time one needs to knit lambs wool undies or sculpt phallic shaped candles. As a creative person, I can openly say that when you give a person some artistic freedom and an potential monetary incentive, anything can happen.

So, in these bi-weekly posts (one on the weekends and one sometime during the week), I will venture through the ETSY categories and bring you my favorite horror story of arts and crafts. Oh, and then I will show you something that I would personally invest in if I had some spare change laying around.

For your pleasure, we will start with Accessories- Leg Warmers. Now, I would never, ever wear a leg warmer. EVER... let alone put my own child in one. If babies legs didn't already look like sausages, let's stuff them in tight long socks and top them off with tulle and buttons. And if that wasn't bad, this listing says right off not to purchase because this item is already reserved. SOMEONE BOUGHT THIS FOR THEIR INFANT! Ensue shame on the human race.




Now, looking through the accessory category, I am going with the apron sub section. I've been trying to be a better, healthier, and more adventurous cook. But overall, most of my cooking adventures end up with me stirring a pot of shells and cheese. Maybe, with a cute, 50's inspired apron, I can get the motivation to whip up something other than pre-made mashed potatoes.





With this little bit of inspiration and horror, I conclude my first "Crap I Find On Etsy" post. Enjoy and happy shopping!