Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Maple Leaves

It's the Fall!

Quite honestly, it's a dreadful season for me (and my beyond crappy allergies).

But there are always some good points about Fall to make.

There's the fashion. I heart girly, ruffled flannel- so much so, you'd swear my fall wardrobe was from the closet of a fashionista lumberjack. I swear, I'm ok.

Shopping in general is just more pleasant in the Fall. I've already started shopping for Christmas, as this is just the best time to find deals without being bombarded or thrown around in line for the newest robotic animal.

But mainly, the Fall works for me because the majority of my music seems to be appropriate for this time of year. It's not quite the doldrums of winter, and it certainly isn't the peppy summer. My electro-pop phase has leveled out to straight up folk and acoustic. Really, I just listen to a ton of Jens Lekman on repeat:

It's something about the drum pop combined with the heavy strings that remind me about my favorite things- sweaters, apple cider, and blanket season.

On the other hand, the Fall is terribly disheartening for me. It's the bleak realization that Summer is over and Winter is around the corner. It's now dark when Glee is on. And it's coat weather when I catch the bus.

The Fall is designated school time, when kids are ripped from their daytime TLC addictions (just me!?!) and but through the rigors of the next grade level.

And it means that I'm not teaching.

Dont get me wrong, I love my job. And even the Fall was significant for me, as I now have to leave 2 minutes earlier so I dont have to stand next to 20 poorly dressed freshman girls on the shuttle bus. Oh, and the students make the office much more lively and interesting.

But I'd rather be teaching.

I miss the energy of a classroom and the rush of a good lesson. I want to go back to being in front, educating and hopefully inspiring. I hate sitting for 7.5 hours, imagining what my old students are doing today. Even private lessons, I miss.

My life just doesn't feel as complete or compelling as it did this time last year when I was knee deep in grading papers and planning dance routines.

And the Fall is just a constant, cruel reminder that, even with the ability to wear flannel to work, I'm still not doing what I want to do.

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