Minimalist Challenge: The Argyle Closet Monster

I have way too much clothes.

There, I admitted it. Isn't that the first step?

Frankly, I know that I dont have as much as some of my friends do, and I rarely shop compared to girls I know. My clothing overload comes from hoarding.

Call up TLC and A&E cause this girl has an issue of letting go for the sake of letting go.

Seriously, I look at a fairly worn work shirt and reflect on the 3 months of wear time it most likely got. It has memory, attachment, and symbolism to it. This particular shirt was bought before I started student teaching and placed in the category of: Teacher Clothes. It had a title- a purpose. And, for the most part, it fit that role ...

... Until it shrunk. Now I cant lift my arms without it exposing my belly. I haven't worn it since I finished student teaching (about a year and a half ago), and it has been moved around from three closets till it met it's final resting place.

Now, instead of being a trendy, versatile piece of highly sought after fashion, it has become a symbol of my biggest fear: letting go. Cue internal argument:

"It's teacher clothing, so maybe, whenever/if I get back to teaching, I could try it out again. Maybe if I lost weight it would fit better. Or, I could always wear an undershirt under it. OR I might need it one day. Seriously... the argyle sweater look is always in fashion!"

Kanye gets it!

Ugh.

I need help, so I of course turn to the Gods of the Closet, the ones every 22-30 year old girl looks up to:

Comfortable is a four letter word.

Yep, this is a WWC&SD situation (What Would Clinton and Stacey Do?).

According to their book, building a minimalist, standards-based closet requires these items:

Suits
Black pantsuit
Softer neutral suit with pants or skirt (gray, brown, khaki, or navy)

Dresses
Black dress
Solid color dress
Print or embellished dress

Tops 3 cotton button-front shirts
3 blouses
2 sparkly tops
6 sweaters (3 neutral, 3 color, and vary necklines: crew, V-neck, cardigan)
3 blazers (1 summer weight, 1 three-season weight, 1 winter weight)

Bottoms 3 pairs of neutral trousers
3 winter-weight skirts (1 should be a tweed)
3 summer-weight skirts (1 should be a tweed)
3 pairs of jeans (all hemmed to different lengths, for flats, heels, and sandals)

Outerwear Leather jacket
Denim jacket
Trench coat
¾ length wool coat

Accessory
Watch with two bands (leather and link)

Bags
Black bag
Brown bag
Color or print bag

Footwear
Black heels
Brown heels
Color or print embellished heels

Black boots
Brown boots

To be fair, I have about 80% of that and more. But heels and me dont go far. I also need to ask why so much tweed and sparkly tops? Whatever, I dont question WNTW style.

In order to stick to my minimalist reordering of my life, I've started to clear out my closet by using this list. Before I moved, I got rid of 3 garbage bags full of clothing alone, yet, I still have those argyle print stragglers.

Now that I am buying clothing that is more appropriate to my current work situation, I have decided to follow one simple rule: For each item of clothing I buy, I must give away one of equal value to a charity or drive. This rule does not include under garments.

So, when I finally got the nerve to try on a pair of skinny jeans from NY&Co, it was with the thought that I would finally be saying goodbye to that argyle monstrosity. And then, because it was a two for one pant deal at the store, I picked out a pair of work appropriate, flair jeans, so gone goes another similar fated sweater top I purchased in high school.

Maybe this anti-hoarding thing wont be so hard after all... if it means Stacey and Clinton shopping time.

What articles of clothing have you kept around past it's prime? Do you donate? What about the WNTW essentials list, do you see anything I shouldn't purchase?

Crap I Find On Etsy pt II

Last week, I mentioned that part of my day at work was spent finding artwork for the office. I spent about 14 hours scouring the interwebs and sites like ebay and etsy until I found this:
Basically, it matches our office perfectly as we already have one etsy artwork in this color scheme. It is also kind of nerdy, in a way- perfect for biotechnology departments. We are going to purchase three of these with dark brown or black frames and put them on our currently blank main wall across from our desks.

See! Great things can be found on etsy if you search 3 times a week for over 14 hours!

Back to the crap though, because, duh, that's where the magic is. If you dont remember, I last assaulted you with baby leg warmers. Priceless and classy formal pageant wear for the teething set. I started off with accessories and am now moving on to my personal favorite, bags and purses (I am skipping art until I am not thankful for Etsy sellers/legit artists like the one above).

Now, I dont know about you, but when I go shopping for purses (less frequently then you think), I tend to channel my inner Rock of Love. This purse is called "Lightning Strikes," which might explain the painful display of leather fringe dripping from all corners of this monstrosity. The neon blue and the white stars make it only appropriate if you are dressing up like a skanky Hannah Montana for Halloween, or again, that old lady from season 2 of Rock of Love (you know, the cowgirl). Shame on this creator. Even he/she/it/ugh notes that you "cant find this purse anywhere else, maybe Saturn." It's out of this world in such a bad way that I am not sure if the gassy, remote planet would even spit crap like this out of its many icey rings.

In case you really want to visit the rings of crazy tacky purse shopping.

Ok, now for a good purse. As you all may know, I have no sense of style but I've watched a ton of Clinton and Stacey antics on WNTW to know that short=small. Being short and Pooh like in build, I have learned that my body cant handle a large, Mary Kate hobo bag which is ok with me as man on corner chic never appealed to me. I do, however, adore anything in vintage style and color. When a bag is in the shade of a particular vespa I've been drooling over since Europe, I tend to fall in love with it instantly. I can picture myself in a white summer dress, holding on to a rugged Italian (I'll make it Irish for B's sake) as he races down side streets in a baby blue scooter. We stop for french onion soup and cupcakes (MY FANTASY!) at some local cafe and drive off into the sunset for our picnic by the lake/river/ocean.... ahhhhhh...

My birthday is only 8 days away...

Happy shopping, folks!

P.S. If anyone is curious as to where I got my fantasy from... just revert to what I watched before bed last night and mix it in with my variously outrageous food cravings: