Wednesday, July 28, 2010

New Addition + Crap I Find On Etsy

Nope, this ain't your mid-80s, male R&B sensations. This "addition" is much cuter and brings less chance of getting "Poison" stuck in your head. This freshly dropped, soon-to-be hit comes care of Brother and Brother's girlfriend. The duo had previously brought the world the one-hit wonder of my adorable little niece, but now they are back with the vengeance of cuteness on their side...

Premiering on this blog for the first and certainly not last time.... The New Kid On the Block...
Alexander Alfonso (Insert Last Name Here)
8lbs 11 oz, 20 1/2 inches
Born July 28th, 2010 at 2:45am
Commence fawning.

Only the proudest and happiest of aunts would refer to her newly born nephew in early 90s radio jargon.

But I digress. I'm obviously delighted at the news of a new addition to our family. Alex should anticipate loads of kisses, spaghetti, trips around Kankakee, White Sox games, and hard rock music concerts with my paternal side. My maternal side only brings normality. It evens itself out. And there is no doubt that this little meatball will be spoiled rotten as all of us children were and continue to be. He's already got a White Sox teddy bear heading his way when I visit him this weekend.

Anticipate pictures from my visit.

Because I am in such a pro-child mood, I will bring a special baby edition of Crap I Find On Etsy!

As always, I bring you the bad first:
According to picture documentation, I had the typical rainbow mobile. Cute, practical, and whimsical for the late 80s. Now, imagine if Tim Burton and that seedy seamstress at the tailor shop got ahold of your rainbow mobile. Injecting a nightmare inducing sense of sadness mixed with some really shotty seaming, you get...

If this isn't a reason for continued bed wetting, I seriously dont know what is. I might have peed in fear just coming across this monstrosity of a crib mobile. The fact that the seller claims that it would be adorable in any baby room just sends shivers down my spine. Even the people from the Saw franchise wouldn't dare put this in their child's room.

Ok. I cant look at it anymore. I'm afraid that its raindrops will cut me.

As for the good, well, there were tons of good. I saw the most adorable little onesies listed, including a Neil Diamond one, several Mr. T's, and even one quoting one of my favorite authors. But mainly, I'm in love with this one:

Dana: So what do you think?
Peter Venkman: Well, he's ugly. I mean, he's not Elephant Man ugly, but he's not attractive. Was his father ugly?
Dana: [to Oscar] Don't listen.
Peter Venkman: And he stinks! You're ripe, Senor! Did his father stink? Yeah, I bet Daddy was smelly, wasn't he?

Why yes, that is Bill Murray's orange face on my hispter toddler's tshirt. Enough said.

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