23 Years In the Sucking- An Emo Post On Birthdays

In about two hours, I will turn 23. So exciting, right? Actually, I cant remember a time when I was really, truly excited for my birthday past the age of 14. My mom, the social butterfly that she is, planned ah-mazing parties for my sister and I. She was the queen of the hostesses. But princess parties in grandma's backyards fail to impress those over 10. Sorry mom. I still miss those days.

Unfortunately, when you are as close in age as my sister and I are (11 months), then you typically dont get to celebrate individually. Her birthday being the 23rd of June and mine on the 30th, there was no point in having two parties, especially when you are also brought up to have mostly the same friends. Last year, I got to add my sister's wedding to the mix when she was married 3 days before my 22nd. Starting to see a trend?

Every since the days of themed parties and sleepovers were long gone, my day of birth has been nothing but let downs. I'd attempt to make plans with my friends, like this year, only to find that because my birthday falls near a holiday weekend, I will have limited access to those dearest and nearest. Because it's in the summer, I had to deal with breaks and vacations also throwing a wrench in my plans to even associate birthdays with communal celebrations. My 21st included.

Last year, I was down right miserable on my 22nd. I was still getting over the "my little sister got married before me and I am still single" stress and pinning after a guy who secretly had a girlfriend in Thailand. After watching me sulk, my Roommate Green took me out to get cupcakes near our apartment in Boystown. I then spent the rest of my night regretting a certain sleepover at formerly mentioned crush's condo. I'd give it a D. My 21st was a total F. I went out at midnight with Panda, and Panda only. Call that depressing. I cant even remember what I did on the 16th-20th, but I know that most ended up with disappointment.

And that's why I have the adopted the "forget it" policy. Tomorrow will be like any other day- I will go to work, most likely do something with B that's not too out of the norm, and go home early for work in the morning. I will of course be expecting a couple phone calls, texts, and messages on my brand new phone (happy birthday to me?). But everything else will happen and end and I will come back here in a year and complain about this birthday as well.